Making Choices
by Peter Nicolaou

Caring for an elderly or disabled family member is one of the hardest things a person can do.

For some, it's the only option they can afford. Others provide care at home, believing no one else can do it as well. Some do it out of a sense of obligation, but most choose to be caregivers out of love.

Every caregiver can tell you it's hard work, physically and emotionally. While many receive help at the beginning, most end up providing caregiving alone, with little support.

Admitting you can no longer handle the stress of care giving may be as hard as caregiving itself.

Many fear that stopping is an admission that they no longer care for the person for whom they care. Others believe they've failed because they aren't able to handle all the care themselves.

Using alternatives such as home healthcare, adult day services, respite care or a residential placement should be part of any caregiver's plan from day one. But many caregivers don't know when to step away from their role. Here are a few suggestions.

Admit when your physical, emotional and financial resources are being drained before you're completely out of gas.

Recognize when you can no longer get the regular help you need from family and friends.

Be aware when being a caregiver becomes a danger for yourself or the person for whom you care.

Recognize when the person for whom you care becomes aggressive and/or abusive.

Acknowledge when being a caregiver is more than you can handle.

Letting go of your role as caregiver is not saying you no longer love the person for whom you care. It's letting go of a situation that no longer works. Don't rely on your own assessment of the situation. Ask an impartial person such as a minister, a healthcare provider, or anyone you trust with the ability to impartially assess the care giving environment.

For more information about our adult day care services,
contact Peter Nicolaou. Call (915) 598-5403.